Jibber-Jabber of Unrhyming Gargles

2005-11-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

Render me stupid
I'm loving it anyway
Loving the tie dye
psychedelic color
my skin has turned into
Wave after wave
of ink blots
and paint spatters
People start to glance
I know you're loving
Loving the fakery
You -- an artist taking pride
behind an over-used canvas.

2005-10-12T14:15:00.000+08:00

Ever noticed how most superheroes usually attach gender indicators to their names? Like Batman or Catwoman. And as for villains, they tend to be more creative and believe that people don't have to know whether you're a man or a woman just to destroy the world.

Therefore, I conclude, that villains are more confident with their sexuality.

Bright Lights

2005-10-01T13:26:00.000+08:00

We had an event last night called Bright Lights Festival, an awards night for the best in Multimedia Arts. It was suppose to start around 6:00pm but we still bothered to go around 9:00. Richie insisted to go though I was a bit hesitant because I was guessing the festival would be over by then. I found out later that Bamboo's going to perform afterwards so what the heck. And with free tickets (thanks Moo!) you can never fail.

We were just in time for the show to start. It wasn't that crowded so Richie, Moo and I got to stand on the edge of the stage. The show was a blast! Everyone was waving their arms as if Bamboo was a god. I, however, am one of those few who gave Bamboo little attention. Instead, I worshipped another god - Ira!!! He's the guitarist of the band and might I say also the hottest. He got my groupie senses tingling with excitement. It was very clever of the people who organized the event to have them perform after everything else is done. The only reason why the people held up for three hours was for them to watch Bamboo perform.
But then again I might be wrong.

Anyway, bad quality pics and several bad quality videos taken on the said event have been uploaded.

Single Saturday

2005-09-18T01:28:00.000+08:00

I forgot how it was to be single again 'til today. Richie had to go to Laguna and spend the whole weekend as a requirement for his fencing team. Richie and I hang out 24/7 because we both come from the same school and take up the same course and he lives just right across the street. So today was a good chance for me to see how it's gonna be when/if things don't work out for us anymore. No matter how much you love the person, you should always keep yourself prepared for the worst. But you know what I realized? It can be really boring being single, no matter how busy you can be for some reason. Sure it has its quirks. But it's just lonely.

My day started with being 30 minutes late for my 9am to 12nn class. I didn't go home anymore and just had lunch at the University Mall with Robbie. We were supposed to attend this art seminar called MADE (Metrobank Art & Design Excellence). It started around 2 and ended until 5 in the afternoon. The talks were pretty boring though important points were still extracted from them. The artwork exhibit was awesome!!! It's very nourishing to soak yourself once more in oil paintings and watercolors and sculptures. I should probably visit the museum one of these days. It's really been awhile.

By the time I got home, I only had thirty minutes to freshen up and met up with my high school friends whom I haven't seen in a long long while. We hung out for a bit at Jenny's penthouse then went to Greenbelt 3 for dinner. It was nice to catch up on each other and just have fun and go crazy like we used to. Four glasses of iced tea and an empty plate later, we went for a stroll and did a bit of window shopping. I went home early because I can't seem to keep my feet firmly on the ground without shaking. I've been out all day and the only decent meal I had was 6 hours ago (I didn't eat at dinner if you still weren't able to pick that up).

So that's it, pretty much. Nothing interesting, really. Just the usual update where you blab about what you did the entire day and you know no one really gives a *fork*. Quite understandable.

Anyway, pics taken at MADE and at Greenbelt shall be in my MULTIPLY page. Enjoy!

Dish

2005-09-12T14:38:00.000+08:00

Time for another update. It's the second week of school and I'm just here relaxing before my class starts. It starts at 3:40 and by 4:40 I'll be on my way to a fifteen minute walk to our other building for my 4:50 class and I'll have to walk back to the main building for my 6-9 class. Bummer.

Last Saturday was put to good use.

I didn't stay home instead I went to this place called Dish at Quezon City in the ABS-CBN compound. It was pretty good.

When we got there, it started with a band called Fahrenheit, nothing much to say about them. They're okay I guess. Your typical alternative rock band.

Then came The Bloomfields!!! They stood out from all the bands! I love them!!! They look and sound like they just came out of a 60's vintage record cover. I love how the guitarists carefully choreographed there moves with every beat and how the drummer, who sang the first song, seemed to have so much charisma. They perform there every Tuesday. If only Quezon was close to Taft, I'd probably go see them as if it were Sunday Mass.

They were then followed by Kjwan. Marc Abaya wasn't as hot as I imagined, but still hot enough. Hehe.

Then a product from our very own school, a band called "Eden". They're Music Production students. Though they played covers from old songs like Lisa Loeb's Stay and Natalie Imbruglia's Torn, they sure show a lot of promise. Powerful voice on this one.

Radioactive Sago Project... "Black smoke, black smoke, swimming in my brain. Black smoke, black smoke it's driving me insane..." Or something like that... hehe

The last performance was done by a popcapella group called Out-of-the-Box. Sorry this is the only clear picture I got. The rest are blurry because I had to make do with my camera phone. They're the whole reason why we went there in the first place. Carlo, the guy on the far left, was Richie's friend from high school and he beatboxes for that band as well. The girl in the middle, Cheers, is the only one from CSB. The rest are from Ateneo.

But before the show ended, Richie got to perform on stage with Carlo and Chino! Yay! Check out the video I took in Richie's Multiply page. I was a groupie at her best. Hehe...

-----------

I finally came clean with Richie about what happened last Friday. It went well.

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By the way! I finally worked on my Multiply page! Check it out! :)

Guilt Trip

2005-09-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

This is another one of my whiney entries that always turn out to be my fault anyway and by the end of this entry I'll probably be making a promise I'll forget about in the next 147 hours.

I am such a schmuck. We've finally engaged into a thirty minute deep and serious talk consisting mostly of lectures on my laziness and frequent class ditches and it also involved me agreeing and promising to never skip one single class again.

But 10 minutes after having a late lunch with him before class, I find myself once more going to school and not going to one single class at all. The guilt is killing me. I did go to my first class but I only went as far as the classroom door after realizing I was 30 minutes late. I just told him there was no teacher and I got dismissed early in my second class. So I got myself to read Oral Communication textbooks at the library and refused to go home until 6pm as punishment and also to make up for what I missed in class. I don't know how I'm going to tell him about this. I don't think I will. Ugh. I feel awful.

I seriously need to start keeping my promises. I gotta swear from now on......... no..... starting on Monday (I got class tomorrow Saturday morning), I will never ever ditch class unless I have a valid reason to.

And you guys better not talk me out of it............... because I'll probably be talking myself out of it before any of you do. Hehe. I know myself too well.

Add:
Quite coincidentally, Robbie's entry seems to correlate with mine though my entry has nothing to do with his. Awesome.

2005-09-05T10:28:00.000+08:00

My punishment for failing something? An additional 512mb RAM and 40 gigabytes of hard disk! Talk about undeserving! All in all, I now have 748 mb RAM and an 80 gigabyte hard disk! I've never felt so satisfied with my computer in such a long long time.

I just had it a couple of days ago and ever since then I've been experiencing fast gameplay and I've been downloading numerous Will&Grace series and several movies! I've been burning them into blank cd's so if you guys wanna copy what I got so far you may borrow them.

Judgement Day

2005-09-01T08:35:00.000+08:00

So another term has ended in CSB. Yesterday was course card distribution day. It started out well, Ate Aeyc handed me my grades for Art History and Scripwriting which were both marked 3.0's (In our system, 1.0 is the passing grade and 4.0 is the highest). "Not bad", I said to myself.

I went to school in the afternoon to get my grade for Philosophy, I got a 2.5. I thought I deserved higher but what the heck.

I went to fetch my course card for Digital Illustration, and I got a surprising 3.0! I didn't see that coming. I thought I'd just land on a safe 2.5 at most because I only got 1.5 for midterms. "Things are looking up", I said.

I went to Burgundy and hung out for a bit. Then went back to school. We went straight to the multi-purpose room to get my course card for Jose Rizal and ORDEV-A.

I flipped through the cards on the table for Jose Rizal and finally got to mine. To my surprise once more, I got a 4.0! For someone who barely goes to that class and has several missing exercise sheets and finishing the finals exam in just 20 minutes of making up shit, I must say this is quite undeserving but I'm happy nonetheless. "Could it be that I can be qualified for the Dean's List?", I hoped.

But then there's one last tiny thing I forgot to dread about -- ORDEV-A. ORDEV-A is an orientation, non-academic subject which only takes up 1 unit. In terms of attendance, I'm safe. But then I've missed on so many activities and I never bothered on catching up. I went over to the table and flipped through the names. Most of the students failed, must be slacking off like me. But just as I expected, I failed. To be honest, I already gave up on it weeks before because I really didn't care much for it. But if it weren't for my good academic grades this term, I wouldn't be grieving. ORDEV-A kept me from qualifying for the Dean's List. Oh well, let it go. I never bothered to go to the office and talk to the teacher. I accepted it just like that.

I sent my mom a message about it. She didn't sound upset at all. Instead, she felt for me. Told me that it's alright and learn from our mistakes and not to take things for granted. You know, the usual moral blah-blah, which was quite nice actually. It's good to be reminded of things you already know too much about which is why you never really gave it much thought. She even apologized that she can't let me go back home along with my brother due to financial setbacks. It's alright, at least I got company this time while my brother's not around. Gives me something to do. My brother left this morning, he tried to contain his excitement. It showed anyway. I'm happy for him.

Before I end this, I'd like to congratulate Robbie for being on the Dean's List for this term! Nagkukunwari ka pa na ayaw mo ma DL, nagtalon talon ka lang pala sa SPO nung sinabi mo sakin ang good news! Haha! Keep it up!

2005-08-22T14:26:00.000+08:00

The aftermath of listening to Def Poetry Jam combined with someone I used to know. Thought I’d try something new as well. I might be revising this some time in the future.

-----
-----

You continued to stumble into the reckless world
of longing
for belonging

You held on soooo tight to your rock cds
when
you
so
wanted
to get
your ass
swaying
on some good
Britney

You were
eyes-shut-tight-arms-wide-open
DESPERATE for attention
eyes-shut-tight-arms-wide-open
that you settled for something
you perceive to be cooooool

You want to standout
to fit in

And you want to be different
to be just like them

I struggled and I juggled
as you concluded
from one personality to another

You were so DESPERATE
That you unconsciously abandoned me
for a trend

AND DON’T YOU DARE
TRY TO HOIST YOUR LABELS AT ME!
for I am MORE than a genre!
MORE than a category!
And MORE than a standard boundary!
And it's people like you
Who make cliché characters
And stereotypes existent
In last-resort storybooks!

So keep stumbling into that reckless world
Because everyone's there
And you pretend that there's so few of you.

© Carissa Campos

-------
-------

Reminds you of your teen angsty days doesn’t it? Hehe.

I Love Diesel!!!

2005-08-21T13:17:00.000+08:00

I just got my internet connection back last night, my brother did some hocus pocus and voila! DSL connection! And I didn't get off the computer from 1 am til 7 am and woke up at 11 only to get back on my computer and download more songs and update and install more software. It was well worth the wait I tell ya.

Oh and by the way, here are some pics long due on my go carting escapade with chicco, ace, and richie! Just click for a bigger version.

Look at me blogging as if I've got nothing to do. I better finish my ANICART so I can finally do my DIGILUS.

2005-08-17T18:31:00.000+08:00

I need...

I need to finish my animation. (I'm almost there.)
I need to start on my Digital Illustration projects.
I need to save up so that I could buy Richie a late birthday present.
I need to shed off some fat, especially those on my arms.
I need to stop staying up until 6 in the morning and wake up at lunch time.
I need to find an art work for my Art History finals.
I need to have my computer back to get everything done hassle-free.

I want...

I want to have my computer back to get everything done hassle-free.
I want to take out the fists up the asses of every uptight person I come across.
I want to lose weight.
I want to buy a new mobile cover, the poor thing's looking like asswipe.
I want my mom to send me money.
I want to join the Publishing Org next term.
I want to take a break.

*sighs*

Where's my magic carpet ride when I really need it?
Oh that's right. He's stapled on the ground as well.
Bwisit finals.

-----
I was crossing the street and I almost bumped into a pregnant woman. I shuddered when I saw her big round belly hanging out under her baggy shirt. It looked so fragile even a ball point pen can burst it open. It's very scary to be walking around with something like that riding along with you.

2005-08-11T18:37:00.000+08:00

This is awful.

Just the other day, the techies from PLDT arrived to install a PLDT phone line and DSL connection. Unfortunately, my brother's computer was a bit screwed up so it took longer than the usual and we had to put the connection on our laptop. I don't know what my brother's been doing to that laptop but keys '9' and 'L' no longer work anymore. Making things harder for us. Now I don't even have internet in my computer so I'd have to stand updating somewhere else, in Burgundy's Net Cafe more specifically. I'd very much prefer my stuck up backspace and shift key than their dysfunctional spacebar. Ugh. Very awful indeed.

While some people just had a new computer along with CD burner and DSL connection, I'd have to live off internet survival through computers in internet shops and my school.

I'm feeling very disoriented lately. Maybe because of lack of internet at home. But it can't be just that. I feel like everyone's been demanding so much from me. But if I put them down one by one, they're really just small favors. But there're my own agendas to consider. I've been putting myself last lately. There's no one to blame but me since I made that choice to prioritize others than myself.
Damn, I just remembered I have to write that letter of disconnection for Eastern Telecom that my brother asked me to. I better start on that so that I can finally get cracking on my animation project.

I'll be posting updates regarding last week. I was so excited to tell you guys about going go karting and going to Embassy and lots more, but then the internet connection coincidentally made a blunder.

2005-07-31T03:48:00.000+08:00

Seems like my weekends are busier than my weekdays.

I just got home from Tia Maria's with my boyfriend and his bro who just arrived yesterday along with a couple of their family friends. We started the night by having dinner at this place called Trio in Fort Bonifacio then had coffee at Cafe Teria. From all the bars mentioned (Xaymaca, Ratsky's, Tia Maria's, and another what's-it-called), for some reason they decided to head to Tia Maria's. In case you don't know, I'm the type who doesn't dance, especially in public. I was once again stuck in an awkward situation where I was obliged to dance. Thankfully the stars aligned tonight. Just when I finally dragged my butt off the chair to the dance floor, the band was done playing their songs although there was another band coming after that. We didn't stay long enough for that. Thank God.

And yesterday night (Friday), Richie and I went to Ninoy airport to fetch his brother. Then went to Katipunan to check out a sort of open mic place, Richie got to perform again then we just headed back to my place and chilled out for a bit with him and his bro.

Sorry the pic's too blurry.

Just updating because I'm bored and got nothing better to do.

2005-07-28T12:09:00.000+08:00

So I arrived late for my Philosophy class yesterday because my boyfriend wanted to introduce me to his cousin. I found Robbie sitting on the cold marble floor right outside the classroom and decided to sit beside him before entering class.

As he mumbled on about plans for the final project, my eyes wandered down to his pink chucks that suited him beautifully like bare feet.

As he mumbled on about plans for the final project, my eyes wandered an inch higher and saw a patch of skin peeking out right between his bare feet and his pants.

As he mumbled on about plans for the final project, I had the biggest urge to shave his legs.

*sighs* Black twister fries.

~This is not a poem. This is merely an itch between my fingers.

---

The boyfriend finally had a haircut. Mr. Pubic head has finally left for his 1 week vacation. Thanks for making my 3 o'clock. :) hehe

an EXTREMELY long entry

2005-07-24T12:11:00.000+08:00

If you're sure you have nothing else to do and looking to my little spot on the net as a last resort for some cheap entertainment, you may read on.

-

Things got pretty interesting for me this week. I got to do things out of the routine and had some fun and learned some things along the way.

SATURDAY, July 16

Nash and Meg came over to hang out for a bit. Couldn't help but introduce them to David Firth's gruesome animation who was originally introduced to me by Robbie.

My brother and I spent some time with our grandpa. He fetched us and went to his house in Taguig. I got to meet Tita Jane (his wife) and Miki (her son) once more. They told me I lost weight (yay!). Anyway, Miki is still a brat! I don't know. I get along fine with my grandpa's family. But for some reason, I have this feeling that they're living off on him. When I got to their place, it was decorated with obviously expensive western furniture. And you should see their bedroom! It was bigger than my room and my brother's combined. And of course bratty Miki's closet was lined with Nike shoes and jerseys, and some designer clothes. I expected he'd grow up since the last time I saw him back when he was 10. Now he's 13, and nothing's changed except his height and his voice. He wouldn't stop slapping my ass. They have this jacuzzi on top, the kind that looked exactly like the one you see in Sims. I know my grandpa, he doesn't really care about these things. Before he got married again, he was perfectly content with whatever he has and I'm sure he's still as content. It's just that his wife is more demanding in terms of comfort and luxury. *Rolls eyes* I'm not saying they're bad people, I mean they welcomed us into their home with just as much hospitality. My grandpa's 64 and his wife's 46, and I can't help but think that he's being taken advantage of. Maybe I've watched too many pinoy drama movies when I was a kid.

TUESDAY, July 19

Got to spend time with Anna, Nash and Robbie. We went to CCP for an exhibit of a friend of Robbie's. It turned out that the exhibits were illustrations from Children's books. The museum was flooding with warm energy that it mixed so well with the smell of dust and history. The little kids were trotting about in their native filipino clothing after doing a couple of numbers that involved singing and native musical instruments.
Ooo and I have here some pictures we took that day and also another collage of pictures made by Nash. What a sweetie. Just hover your mouse on the pictures for the captions.

WEDNESDAY, July 20

Online enlistment is a bitch.

THURSDAY, July 21

Went to Rockwell with Dad and bro. I broke away from them and shopped under my own pace. I was at beauty bar and I was looking for a good liquid foundation so I asked one of the salesladies. She kindly led me to a rack of cosmetics and made me try this liquid foundation especially made with hydrant seaweeds and whatever ingredients she was talking about that must have been just as big as my two thumbs together. So I took it without any hesitation. I decided to look around some more and while I was fiddling with the newly purchased box, my eyes got magnified to the small price tag at the bottom -- P2,650!!! My lord! My mom would go ballistic if she saw this listed on my credit card expense list. Out of embarrassment, I discreetly set it aside and bought a cheaper product that I probably won't be using.

So while my dad was unreasonably splurging on Lacoste shirts and a new pair of shoes along with my brother. I went to Fully Booked and went window shopping. My eyes turned watery the moment I stepped in. There was one set of bookshelves all lined up with Harry Potter books alone and there were even more piled up on the floor. Must have been restocking day. The children's section was isolated from all the other genre of books that it gave me a different tingling feeling when I walked between its isles. And there were beautiful leatherbound notebooks that were calling out to me.

But those weren't what completely won my heart. When I went deeper into the cave I intentionally stumbled on, I came upon tons and tons of shelves of comic books!!! So in hopes that I would find Neil Gaiman's graphic novels, I came out successful. My eyes practically wandered from one book to another! Unlike other bookstores, they had unwrapped comic books so you could freely read them as long as you wish! And the prices weren't that expensive as I'd imagined. I'm definitely coming back here.

Well, that's pretty much the highlight of my Thursday.

Also, Richie said he loved me today. It must have been the full moon. I wish it was full moon every night. Hehe.

FRIDAY, July 22

Dad left for Bacolod. Things are back to normal, meaning I don't have to share my room with my brother anymore.

I decided to ditch Scriptwriting class and went to Ateneo with Richie to watch a gig of a friend of his, anyone familiar with the band Out-of-the-Box? It's an a capella band. We thought we could take the train. But due to poor sense of direction and traffic, we decided to take a cab and only got to watch them for 20 minutes. We obviously arrived late. But oh well. At least I did something out of the ordinary.

SATURDAY, July 23

Guys, don't watch The Island. It sucks. Apart from the fact that I don't really like Sci-Fi movies. This one seriously sucks. Most of the movie involved running and maybe the director realized that they have to put in an intimate scene as well and so they must have squeezed it in at the last minute because that part of the movie really seemed out of place.

I did some shopping as well. It gave me endorphins long enough to last me a couple of days.

Midterm Afterglow

2005-07-16T00:46:00.000+08:00

Midterm Results:

Art History - 46 out of 50, don't know the final midterm grade yet though
Jose Rizal - 2.0
Cartoon Animation - 2.5, not bad considering I only did it on the day of the deadline.
Scriptwriting - 3.0, wasn't expecting that.
Philosophy - 4.0, definitely didn't see that coming.

Now all I have to worry about is my Digital Illustration class (DIGILUS). There's a chance that I might fail due to excessive absences but my teacher reassured us that we can still definitely get a 4.o for our final grade. I'm just guessing I'm gonna fail my midterms for DIGILUS but we'll find out on Monday. It doesn't really matter as long as I have a chance to still pass for the finals.

This is one awfully lonely Friday night. Everyone's gone off to some party except me. Things might be going back to normal then. Richie went to some party in Makati and my brother was already gone when I got home. I've been so frustrated with Richie lately and it's probably a good idea not to start on that. Maybe some other time.

I'm feeling so emotional lately. Blame it on the PMS I suppose.

I've managed to spend less than P500 this week. I still got a spare 70. I had to go real stingy just to be able to achieve such.

It's been a long time since I messed around with my art materials. Maybe I should finally pop open those acrylic paint tubes. I haven't used those. Should probably give them some use now. Having said that, I hope you guys can tell how bored I am right now.

http://fat-pie.com/flash/salad2.html <-- wanna check out something morbidly depressing?

Reality Check

2005-07-10T12:51:00.000+08:00

Ah yes. I got to submit everything on time except for DIGILUS. Do you think I'd automatically fail in my final grade if I failed the midterms? Well it wasn't really my fault. I submitted the midterm project right on the deadline and we were supposed to upload it to the FTP server. Somehow, we weren't able to access the ftp folder. It must've been offline or something. I'll have to talk that over with my teacher together with my other classmate who wasn't able to upload hers for the same reason.

Finally, no more midterms. I kinda felt the pressure on this one. Yeah, Multimedia Arts is starting to weigh down on me. I just looked through my flowchart and I realized the subjects I will be taking in the succeeding terms might require more of my efforts than what I usually give now. That means less slacking off, or better yet, no slacking off at all. But you all know I can't do that. If I just try to prioritize my obligations and responsibilities then I could surely graduate on time. According to my calculations, I might even graduate ahead too, that is if I play it straight. In the succeeding terms, especially junior year, the pressure is definitely on. I don't like pressure. It keeps me pinned down on the ground. I know it's where I should be but I don't like the ground very much. It's too human.

Yesterday, I watched Richie do more of his beatbox stuff. And I realized how serious he was about it. He texts people he knows who beatboxes as well and would ask them if they wanna jam or something. I know this is something you guys would predictably make fun of but the thing is, he does so much to reach his goal. He often gets frustrated everytime he watches the pros do it and he tries so hard to catch on. I kinda got goosebumps seeing a person who does a lot to reach a certain goal. Then I recalled how Robbie's serious about what he does as well. All that drawing and graphic designing and all that effort he does in school. Then my thoughts jumped on to Emman. This guy started pretty young. He's a production design student and started earning at the age of 17. He's the one who took the pictures in Kitchie Nadal's album. My thoughts spread on to everyone else. And as I can see, everyone seems to have a passion for something and aims for it. Everyone except me.
How sad is that that I prefer to dabble on something I can be interested in. No, not prefer. More of because that's as far as I can go. I don't go all the way even if friends give me the big mmph. Perhaps because I'm afraid that I might just end up in total disappointment. Perhaps because of the competition that goes along with it and I have this habit of giving up easily when I see that someone's better. I don't understand that I'm usually optimistic most of the time but why stay pessimistic when it comes to this.

I hate this whole growing up business.

---------------
A conversation I had with Richie at Cash&Carry. Was telling him the usual stupid things I did when I was a kid. This time when I was 8 years olds. He responds:
"What does 8 mean?" (Draws an imaginary 8 with his fingers.)
"Err... Infinity?" I replied.
"Yes, and that's what you will be."
"What?"
"You will be 8 forever."

2005-07-01T06:51:00.000+08:00

I don't really know where to start. It's 2:19 am. I am drunk from vodka mixed with coke and Red Horse as my appetizer. And it's sad that my brother makes me go to sleep or to my bedroom everytime I get drunk. Yes, I am drunk. He makes me go to my room when I've had enough, or have done enough. Maybe I've said too much. And now I'm left alone in my room. My face is numb. I can't feel my lips. So kissing me won't really accomplish much. But having Richie around would still be good though. That way I have someone beside me when the world's spinning around, I always get scared when that happens. But now, there's no one here. I leave my bedroom door open to reassure me that there's still a world. Everyone's singing offkey but they all sound damn beautiful. I just read Krystle's message on my tagboard, I had to read it 12 times to understand because it came to me as fragments then it finally came to me as a sentence. I miss you too Krystle. You know how to find me. Not where, because I can be all over the place if I feel like. You know how to find me -- you blink twice to see if it's just a mirage, then you blink some more, until you see that I don't have four eyes after all.

They're over in the next bedroom watching Coldplay's concert. Everyone's drunk. Pretty soon, everyone's gonna be stoned. And my uncle's just outside, he looks a lot like Typecast's lead vocalist right now. Damn, it's like everytime he does something with his hair he looks like someone from a band I like. Before he seemed to look like Brandon Boyd. Then he looked like Rico Blanco. Now he looks like Typecast's lead vocalist. I don't know his name though. My uncle is Morpheus. Magaling mag morph from one artist to the next. Hehe

Karlo just brought his sister along with him, and she sings the same way she talks. So natural. It was wonderful. It was orange. I hope I make sense when I'm finally sober enough to read this and understand it. It's a surprise I haven't made any typos. Probably because I've been reading everything I typed every now and then. The doors are slamming. I'm still by myself. I'm scared.

(The morning after)

I found myself lying asleep and waking up to my brother's violent banging on my bedroom door. it's 6:12 am. And sad to say, most of what I wrote really didn't make sense at all. But I posted the darn thing anyway without bothering to revise it. I remember a strong desire to sneak out of the house before I finally dozed off on my beaten up bed that still insisted and struggled to accomodate more than one person but failed many times. It still insisted on trying to live up to its purpose. It's good that the darn thing at least knows its purpose. But before that strange yearning, I remember green, blue and yellow neon lights dancing while Coldplay played some of its familiar songs. I remembered myself taking pictures of four silly boys trying to do the Magnum and Blue Steel but ended up laughing at themselves because they just realized they all looked like shit. Oh right, I remember why I fell asleep and never got to finish what I was trying to write when I was drunk -- my uncle came in my room to show some videos of some bands during their live concerts, I got to see Marilyn Manson playing live while he wore nothing but a shabby piece of clothing covering his waist and a thong. I remember him bending over and I actually remember finding it quite brilliant. Everything appeared so extraordinary last night.

Now for some reason, everything seems to look ugly. The event from last night left a bad taste in my mouth, like I just drank up a whole bottle of medicine syrup. Strangely enough, I found every fingernail nibbled down to its last chip of keratin until my teeth can no longer get to them. Something seems different about this morning. Maybe it was the violent banging made by my still-drunk brother that interrupted my sleep to install some game in my computer (He kept shouting Star Wars when he really meant Warcraft). People get wasted too often in this house. Some people come over. More people come over, this time with bottles of alcohol in their hands. Someone starts to put on some music on my brother's computer. Someone suggests to smoke up. And they all get rowdy until they've finally had enough, never considering that Ate Cynthia and her 7 year old daughter is trying to get some sleep after a day of having to put up with our shit and looking forward to another day with putting up with more of our shit. I don't like it at all. It's too much.

Finally's

2005-06-26T00:30:00.000+08:00

I finally got my hands on Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I had to sacrifice so much of my used space, specifically my mp3's, now it's down from 7.56 GB to 5.38 GB. I gave up so many albums. Thank goodness I actually still had back up from my brother's computer. Sad to say, GTA4 wasn't as good as I expected. Probably because my computer has slow performance and I don't have a USB controller. I even had to remove my Warcraft games and Tomb Raider. I grew tired of those games anyway.

I finally got my laptop back, after a year of going on without it. Wonderful.

Richie finally got to move to his dorm in Burgundy today and he bought our extra computer table for P800. Yay for extra money.

I finally decided to do some tidying up in my room. It's a total mess. Most girls' rooms are messed up with piles of clothes scattered all over the place, mine however, is trashed by piles of papers and books and dusty CDs. My clothes are tucked away in my closet, all organized. Probably because I don't get my hands on them that much. Yes, I like walking around naked (just kidding! hehe). So I toiled for four straight hours organizing CD's and throwing away test papers from the last two terms and putting away books that can no longer occupy my shelves. And voila!!! My room looks... exactly the same. *Sighs*

I talked to Robbie the other day and it finally came to my senses that the midterms is just around the corner, specifically a couple of weeks from now. I feel like class only started a few weeks ago. Dang. Somehow I just can't get myself to work on any of my projects/homework that's long overdue. Thank God for teachers who allow slackers in their class. And I've had numerous sermons from the boyfriend for cutting class. At first, I still bothered to consider, but like everyone else's fate, I finally went back to being stubborn. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Nahh, I prefer to be the free-spirited, overlaidback, and irrational one. I gotta get myself together. I keep making these promises to myself but it never comes through. It's just that I don't care that much anymore. Day by day, the future becomes clearer for me, that I probably won't have a future if I keep this up......... But I'm still enjoying every minute of it!!!

It just turned Sunday 30 minutes ago and I need to finish this book for my report for Philosophy class on Friday. So far I've only finished 1/8 of the book. Grr...

Hmm, should probably do some shopping in the afternoon. Hehe.

Oh and by the way,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA!!! MWAH!!! Hope you have a great celebration for your 19th birthday, sweetie! We love ya!

2005-06-18T12:52:00.000+08:00

*Sighs* One boring Saturday... You can't really do much when you're dad's around. All my schoolwork is piling up especially in Scriptwriting because I've relied on the fact that I might still get a chance to earn a 4.0 even if I fail my midterms. My teacher's grading system rocks. I can only go as far as thinking of ways to entertain myself right now, I'm too lazy to get my ass off this chair. I'm practically glued to it.

I'm having a major breakout. "Mars Attacks" as someone would call it. Ugh.

I feel like going out somewhere. But the thing is, I'm completely broke. And I'm too embarrassed to ask money from my parents since that's what I've been doing most of the time lately. My brother's not making it any easier for me because he always asks me to go buy food for him outside.

JR, a friend of Richie's back in UAE, invited us to have dinner with them tomorrow in this nice restaurant. I forgot the name but it's a restaurant where they actually don't have a menu but you're supposed to mention some ingredients to them and they'll make the most out of it. Something like that. Kind of like Iron Chef I think. Also, Rocco, invited us to go to Anilao with him and his girlfriend and do some scuba diving next Friday. Sounds fun, right? Do you know what's keeping me from doing those two things I just mentioned? My mom. *Sighs* I guess my parents aren't really used to the fact that I'm finally starting to have a life.

Things to do:

Do groceries.

Get laptop.
Do DIGILUS.
List down all missed exercises and homeworks on Scriptwriting and start working on it.
MUST workout.

Next week, I'll be having 6-9pm classes from Monday to Thursday. because I missed my Scriptwriting class last Friday and I have to make up for it plus the regular class for next week. Sucks to be me....... unless, I cut one of my classes on either Tuesday or Thursday... *pauses and smiles schemingly*... *snaps out of it* No!!!

BACK

2005-06-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

I finally got back my internet connection, and it's just not any ordinary internet connection, oh no... I now got DSL! Whoopee! Hehe! But not getting hooked on the net seemed to have its up-sides. I found myself going to different places because I refused to stay put in one place. Far from the introvertive I-refuse-to-go-anywhere-coz-my-room-is-where-it's-at behavior I always seemed to have. This weekend, I got to go to Fort and hang out at one of the pool areas of the condos there (forgot the name), Greenbelt's GoodEarth ( I finally found Neil Gaiman's graphic novels while window shopping at Powerbooks!), the American Cemetery, I went to Gateway Mall in Cubao for the first time (wasn't so bad), went for a walk in Roxas Boulevard and had dinner there as well and lastly, I got to step foot on Star City for the first time! Hehe! Just for kicks! It was an awfully long weekend, but damn was I able to to enjoy every minute of it. Sad to say I've been pigging out the whole time. I'll make up for everything I ate somehow.

School's been easy on me so far, in JoseRiz class I only have to answer my workbook and pass it then I'm good to go. I don't really care about PHILOMA although I expected it to be interesting, the teacher just didn't meet my expectations. My majors are much too lenient I get to do the usual slacking off, it'll be hell the week before midterms. But the thing is..... the midterms ain't here yet... hehehe :P... So lately, I'm seriously hooked on PC games like before, I got addicted to Tomb Raider I've actually managed to reach the middle part of the game by Day 3. I'm currently stuck so I'm temporarily giving up on that. But just when I thought things are back to normal, I find out Richie has emulation games of Nintendo 64, and also The Punisher, and Splinter Cell! HUWATDAPAK!!! hehehe! Other than that, we just bought the latest Grand Theft Auto version this afternoon, sad to say there wasn't enough memory in my computer. Pretty soon, I'll have enough memory to get my hands on that 6-CD PC game.

My dad's here by the way, so that means there'll be less visiting hours for you-know-who. hehe! That's probably good. But guess what, he just found a nice affordable dorm in Burgundy which is just right across my building. Naku... hehe I have no idea how this is gonna turn out. Magkakasawaan na siguro in the near future. Hehe Oh well. It's not yet final anyway, although his mom totally agreed he should move there. Let's just see what happens.
This is it for now. Just had to post something. I hated having to visit this place with the same old entry from last month.

Kwentuhan na naman

2005-05-31T11:48:00.000+08:00

It's been 12 days since I last updated, that's because I have been deprived of an internet connection ever since I got back from Bacolod. Good news is our dial-up might get replaced with a DSL connection thanks to Lawrence. But Lawrence had an accident the other day so his trip to the US of A will be postponed for 6 weeks I think so I'm not sure if that whole DSL connection will come through. This entry might be a long one since many things happened ever since I got here. Let's start with day one...

May 21 (Saturday)
Richie surprised me with flowers which I wasn't really expecting since he's the typical not-very-affectionate guy. My pathetic reflex grant me nothing but a mere, "Astig! Where'd you get this?" He just stared at me and smiled after which he said sarcastically, "Why? You wanna get one for your mom as well?" Hehehe... He was expecting something more graceful than "astig". He then took me to Italianni's at Greenbelt for dinner then had coffee after which I got to introduce him to Macky.

May 22 (Sunday)
Went to the groceries then watched Star Wars 3.

May 23 (Monday)
Ah yes the first day of school... Froshes everywhere. I overslept and missed my first class then my friends convinced me not to attend my second one since it's just a non-academic subject. What can I say, malakas mga kaibigan ko sa akin.

May 24 (Tuesday)
Forgot what happened on this day. Hehe.

May 25 (Wednesday)
Went to school early eventhough my class starts at 3. Poor ate was stuck with Richie because they're in the same class in Photography. She doesn't like him for some reason. Hehe... Oh well.

May 26 (Thursday)
My boyfriend was finally able to convince me to go swimming, under the hot scorching heat... which actually felt good but I'm all burnt up now. Had Cartoon Animation class, the subject I dreaded this term. And as it turned out, it's not really as hard as I thought. Just takes a lot of work that's all.

May 27 (Friday)
Lawrence and I visited Andoni at the hospital because of a severe throat infection. He's gotten skinny now, so much for all that weight lifting during summer. Also my dad arrived from Mindanao today, and after my 6-9pm class I introduced him to Richie. I thought he should finally realize that I'm really capable of having a boyfriend now. Kawawa naman, pangatlo na to at itatago ko pa sa kanya. Of course there was awkwardness in the air but things got better by the next day.

May 28 (Saturday)
Finally!!! I survived the first week of school, and now to enjoy the weekends. My boyfriend and I are supposed to go to the museum in the morning, but my dad thought I didn't have any plans because he was hoping I'd accompany him to the mall for a bit of shopping. So I had to cancel my morning plan with Richie but guess what? My dad actually suggested that Richie can come along if he wants to. Kaya ayun, si daddy shopping ng shopping habang kami naman nagbubuntot sa kanya. Hehe. The whole museum plan came through in the afternoon. Yun nga lang mali palang museum yung napuntahan namin, I told the cab driver CCP museum but then the museum I actually had in mind was GSIS! Bwisit... maganda pa naman dun sa GSIS. After that we ate at Dencio's and walked around Harrison. Then we went back to Torre and went up to the 19th floor to use the gym and swim right after. That's a way to drop everything I had for lunch. But then we were munching away during dinnertime.

May 29 (Sunday)
My brother arrived from Bacolod. I spent time with my dad and my bro today. We watched some DVD's and had some japanese food delivered. My dad was so psyched about being able to buy his first pair of fake adidas shoes thanks to my brother's influence. Hehe. Si kuya pa ang nag influence.

May 30 (Monday)
I hate Mondays. I got to hang out with Richie's friends. They're awfully nice especially his Syrian friend named Maggie. We went to Greenbelt right after class to watch Madagscar since Robbie said we won't push through on watching the movie. My mom got mad at me for going out on a school night though. But the thing is, I only have a 6-9pm class the next day. Just when you decided to go out more and actually have a life. *sighs* Now my mom's made it clear to not go out on a school night. Oh well, rules are rules. Also, I ate nothing but two Cloud9 minis today, my hunger was compensated by drinking C2. Richie kept on scolding me because I always like skipping meals, obviously I know that's a bad thing too but I can't help it sometimes. I made up for it by eating two Piayas (a native delicacy from Bacolod) for dinner.

--
Haha I never thought I'd also go through this phase of hanging out a lot with my boyfriend... Hay naku, sa umpisa lang yan, maya maya magkakasawaan na rin. Hehe

2005-05-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

I gained weight coz I was enjoying myself too much I was no longer aware of my food intake. So much for my obsessive dietary phase. Ate, nagkaroon na ako ulit ng pwet so meron ka na ulit lamas lamasin.
---
Me and Richie are getting old fast. Maybe that's what you get for not taking anything seriously which I think is a good thing. And another reason why is that my mom doesn't seem to like him because he's too aloof. He just doesn't know how to get along with other people, especially my mom and you all know my mom's my bestest friend (Am I making it too obvious that I don't have a social life? I'll be having one soon anyway if I continue hanging out with my bro). It would be nice if things get better between us, but if not, I don't think I really mind.
---
Classes start next week and I'm not very excited about some of my subjects. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends again though. I miss them so much.
---
I'm planning to make use of my free time this term by working out in our gym upstairs or doin some yoga, that'll probably be on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Tuesdays and Thursdays Robbie and I are planning to play badminton in the stadium. But I am quite famous for never sticking to plans due to forgetfulness or just plain laziness. Remember what I did (or didn't do) last Valentine's? hehe. It won't be long until things get hectic for me at school anyway so I doubt I'd work this into a routine. But still, let's hope things turn out differently this time. Let's see how I'd do with me having extracurricular activities.
---
I just had my haircut the other day and I just remembered why I stopped cutting my hair into layers -- it makes my hair wavy. Sure, it can be good at times but I like it better when it's straight. Oh well, it'll grow back. I feel like they cut it too short coz my head feels light but my mom said the hair stylist only chopped off an inch or two.
---
Just saw a new video of the Backstreet Boys! That's right folks, you heard me right. There was Nick Carter and some other dude singing and the others just standing around thinking the dramatic sunset lighting would compensate for the pathetic poses they were doing. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Backstreet Boys as a kid, but I'm not so sure if they'd have as much appreciation as they had back then. But who knows, maybe they'll get better in the long run. If you think about it, what they're doing is actually a brave thing, considering the fact that people find boy bands gay these days.
---
Something tells me I've changed. Scary. Let's hope it's just PMS. Or maybe it might actually be a good thing. Whatever.
---
Oh and additional update: I've been breaking out like crazy this summer. My face looks like a disaster. Kaya tukso sakin ng bwisit kong boypren, Mars daw itsura ko. hehehe lintik.
Richie: Oh wow, you actually have Mars on your face. Hehehe...
Me: It's alright, at least I know no one can terrorize Mars. Hehe... just kidding...

Some Realizations... and More Richie...Hehe

2005-05-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

Let me just say that this has been the most productive summer vacation I've ever had.

I only stayed idle during my first two weeks until Richie arrived from Manila and I started going out more because my brother and I showed him around. He got to see all my friends and my family. Most of them found it hard to talk to him coz he's always quiet and has an air of indifference to him according to a friend of mine. Oh well, that's him. After that, I went to Davao which is why I haven't updated my blog. Meanwhile, Richie decided to go Roxas, Iloilo to visit his uncle and his cousins during my absence. We both got back to Bacolod on the same day and we went on to more trips, from Restaurants to bars to nature trips. It was really nice of him to spend his vacation here in Bacolod.

I just realized how boring I am. My brother took us to a bar one time that has a sort of beach party every Wednesday so more people are around to dance and socialize which is apparently not my kind of crowd. I decided to just sit there and drink some beer. Richie was forced to sit with me eventhough I knew he was itching to get on that dance floor. What's a guy to do? He'll always stick with you no matter how much you insist on letting him dance there with anyone. So he made such a fuss about how I never let myself have any fun which also made me realize how uptight I really am. I know you shouldn't change yourself for anyone, but when you know the change is actually good for you, you really should consider it.
When asked, "What do you do?" I usually just say the things that I used to do, coz I'm really not doing anything interesting now, rather not doing anything at all. I need to re-evaluate my priorities and try to be more productive.
So I actually went bowling and played too for the first time in my entire existence, went mountain climbing a bit though I almost fainted midway so they had to go on without me, and went barhopping. I think it's time for me to try to stay away from my room and go out there and do something. It'll be hard, but it'll be different. I'm kinda thankful for him letting me realize that.

Sorry it took so long for me to post anything. Well as you now know, I went to Davao for a week to visit my cousins. And I took another week off when I got here. Thanks for still bothering to visit despite my 2 week- absence. :) Miss you guys!

Here's a pic of me and my family in Davao in a mountain resort called Jack's Ridge. Mukha bang masaya? ehehe.

"Weather" Forecast

2005-04-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

You and Richie have smooth sailing ahead.

You two want to put yourselves front and center and announce your plans to the world. You're feeling that free, that bold and, yes, that empowered. Well, why not? All signs say go, all lights are green and all the circumstances are just right for you both to declare your vision. Right now you're in no mood to deal with those who talk about 'can't' and 'shouldn't' and 'impossible.' You both know differently. You both know better. So get moving.

...Well whaddayaknow... hehe

I'll be posting about what happened this week. Not now though. Too lazy. At this very moment, Richie is at the beach with his err... boyfriend (si kuya) and his friends. Si kuya talaga. Pinabeatbox sa harap ni mommy kagabi and said jokingly, "I'm proud of you dude". Oh the embarrassment. But I gotta hand it to him, the guy's good at what he does. Ayun ngayon si richie napilitang pumunta sa beach kasi sabi ng mga kuya. May magawa pa ba siya. hehe.

Oh my, it just came to me that I've been talking about him on my previous entries. Gotta do somethin about that. This is so not like me.

Guess what?

2005-04-26T07:18:00.000+08:00

I just had two wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. The one on the left is good but the right one's giving me hell right now. Now the right side of my face is swollen. It's hard to talk. I can barely eat. I look like crap. I feel like crap. It was alright when I came from the dentist coz I still had anesthetic injected on my jaw but then it wore off and the pain is bugging the hell out of me.

Just had to let that out. Me hopes pain will go bye-bye in couple of days. I'm going to Davao next Monday and I hope I'll be able to enjoy my vacation without my mouth getting in the way.

Any...who...way...

Thanks for the comments you guys! Nashy what you said really knocked some sense into me! I guess there's really nothing wrong about us being so different from each other. Thank you so much sweetie!

In other news...

Guess who's arriving from Manila this lunchtime? Yep! You guessed it! Richie! He's coming here in Bacolod after all. He decided not to go to UAE because he had to renew his passport and it's going to take a week which will only give him about two weeks to stay in UAE. According to him, that's not enough to spend so much money on plane tickets not to mention the 6-hour plane ride. So Bacolod it is. Mom and I are fetching him later. But I probably can't go out in the next couple of days so he'll have to spend his first two days taking care of me and my swollen face. Hehe. Most likely he'll be out of my hands as soon as my brother sees him. AC is so fond of him. You know what my brother said when he found out that Richie's staying at Lawrence's?
"Ba't mo pina stay doon kay lawrence eh pwede naman dito sa bahay? dito na lang sana siya sa bahay!"
Abah. Siya pa ang nag reklamo. Ayoko kasi ipa stay dito sa bahay kasi it seems err... inappropriate. Wouldn't you agree? Kasi naman kung dito siya matutulog di ako makakagalaw ng maayos. Eh eto naman si kuya insist ng insist. Pfft. Boypren ko yan! Hindi boypren mo! hahaha!

And guess what else, Patrick insisted on visiting me the other night. But I told him he can't stay long coz it's already 8:30. He just dropped by and he didn't take longer than 15 minutes. It was weird. He was so happy to see me and hugged me twice when we greeted each other and twice when we said goodbye. He grew this big goatee that apparently didn't agree with him. And guess what he asked me before he left...

Drama Scene (hehe)
Patrick:"Ligawan kaya kita! Hahaha (nagjojoke) ... Di nga chumz, ok lang ba kung ligawan kita ulit?"
Me: *laughed*
Patrick: *tumawa na rin * Oh that's right, may Richie ka na pala. Hehe Hug nga! *naghug*
Me: *nakihug na rin*
Patrick: *whispered while he was hugging me* I hope you're happy with him and I hope he takes care of you and loves you more than I do. He better...

I know I know, the whole thing seems corny but I really appreciated how he's actually being so selfless. It's not like him to be selfless. I just smiled and nagbeso then he left. I hope things work out for me and Patrick now that we've become friends.

...This entire entry sounded so high school -- whiney, giddy, bit immature and dumb. No offense to the high school people out there. This is how I was when I was in high school. Probably still how I am sometimes today. Hehe. Wala lang.

Further Ponders

2005-04-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

You'll know when everyone's bored when almost everyone you expect would drop by your site actually did drop by and surprisingly left comments on your entries. hehehe Thanks sweeties!!! Oh and I'd like to congratulate everyone who did well this term -- Robbie, Ate Aeyc, Nashy, Meg, Maki and ANNA (DL!!!). Yep, that's pretty much everyone. Nashy, I know you mentioned on your blog that you failed VidProd but that doesn't mean you didn't do well. I've seen you work your ass off for that class and you did a lot more than just doing well. I might sound harsh and narrow-minded if I say your teacher's a fag for failing you, but... your teacher's a fag for failing you.

Richie can't make it here in Bacolod because his dad got sick, something's wrong with his liver which is a pretty major problem so he has to go back to U.A.E. to see how his dad is doing. He handled the problem quite masculinely, by that I mean he was trying to cope with it by passing it off as a joke or a "side" conversation every time we talk which is so like the typical male that he is.
We both admitted that we're liking each other too much and it's both good and bad. We know we are so much different with each other. Our preferences are on different boats sometimes but we're always able to float each other's boats. Strange, eh?
We both see this (whatever you call this thing between me and him... liplocking friends ba ate? hehe) as something temporary. We try to prepare ourselves for The Worst. As Denisio Del Toro's character in the movie Excess Baggage once said, "I always see potential for failure". And that, my dear friends, is the pessimistic reality between relationships but not always on love.
I can't really call it a summer fling. Heck, I don't even know how that thing works. But for now I'm just trying to enjoy the moment. Regrets will come later and I'll get over it. Call me foolish for defining "living" in that manner, I don't care. I don't care if I end up being nagged at in the end because I've already admitted my mistake and I welcomed it well -- which means I know what's going to happen. So guys, you can start by not starting at all. Hehe,that goes for you too Ate Aeyc. Mwah! Pagalitan mo na lang ako pag di ko matanggap.

The golden words for the cowards (or probably the traumatized):
"Experience it. Enjoy it. Just don't fall for it." - Ms. Penny Lane (from the movie Almost Famous)

....Hoooo...Kayyy... Enough of the gay mushy stuff. hehe.

I changed my mind on taking Jazz class. I've decided to stick to my yoga workout. It's working well with me so far. I'm slowly bringing my appetite back to normal, slow enough that I won't gain weight.

I got my period yesterday and damn do I have a bad case of dysmenorrhea (did I spell it right?). It starts with the really bad cold sweat then it moves down further to the menstrual cramps and BAM! That's when I start losing it.

It's already late and I gotta wake up early tomorrow. No reason, my mom just likes to wake me up early and I don't know why because we usually leave the house at 1 in the afternoon anyway. But anyway, good night people!

Summer Updates

2005-04-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

My apologies for the previous post. Now on the normal side of things...

I've gotten myself into this non-fat milk diet and tuna sandwich. My mom has this box full of chocolate stash sitting quietly right beside me and to my surprise I have not put my hands on a chocolate bar (yet)! ... Okay so I did grab a couple of miniature hershey bars, but that's it I swear! No more for me!
I'm enrolling on a Speech class and a Jazz class for beginners. You know, just to make it sound like I did something productive this summer.
I've been hating myself for letting a guy change all my rules and principles on love and have been loving him for it. Crazy, I know.
My dad just got here last Thursday and so far things are still not in chaos. Let's hope it stays that way. Though I've secretly been hoping he would go back to Butuan any day now so that Richie can spend his vacation here in Bacolod. Hey, it's not only me you know. My brothers (AC, Lawrence, Doni) have been insisting. Lawrence even suggested to let him stay at his place. My real brother, however, insisted on letting Richie stay at our house but I don't think I'm going to like that. I'm on Lawrence's side on this one.
I went weighing from 142 lbs to 130 lbs. Quite an achievement but let's hope my mom's weighing scale was still in good shape when I checked my weight.
I finally fit into my mom's old pants. Bear in mind that my mom has a waistline of 24 inches, but her old pants are a size 27, and I fit into them like a glove. Not bad, not bad at all.
You are not going to believe this, but I've been reading the Bible during my free time! My mom got me this Message version and it doesn't feel like a Bible at all. And I'm so hung up on it's modern interpretation of the Bible I just couldn't put it down. You guys should get a copy.

That's the entire news so far. You can probably tell that I'm too lazy to put things into detail since I've been using the bullet form a lot.

And before I end this entry, I'd just like to say that I miss...

Robbie
Ate Aeyc
Nashy
MeggyWeggy
Anna
Krystle
Richie

...SO SO SO MUCH!!! If only I could afford to get all your asses here in Bacolod, I would! I'll get you into the best hotel in town, even! But too bad I don't have the money to do that. It won't be long until May 23 comes around. I'll be seeing you guys. Get ready for some hugs and probably some kisses. Yes, that means you too Robbie. I know how you don't like it when I get affectionate. haha.

Experimental and Cowardly

2005-04-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

We've been to...

Starbucks
Saguijo
Restaurant near Leon Guinto
Lasallian Centre
Yellowcab
Wendy's
Kenny Rogers
KFC
7 Eleven
Pizza Hut
Burgundy
Xaymaca (a Reggae Bar)
Movie Cinemas
Robinson's Place - Manila
Chow King
Pool Deck

...from April 5 til April 15. I never knew I'd be in so many places with one person in just 10 days.

We've...

Gotten stoned with my brothers.
Smoked the night away in Torre Lorenzo's Pool Deck talking about nothing and everything.
Introduced each other to the Limitless.
Spontaneously laughed so hard between kisses for no reason.
Confessed love to each other and have taken it back.

Are we together, you ask? No.

I thought I knew how it should work now I'm not so sure. I know it shouldn't work out this quick. But when everything's falling into place, who could resist?

I am loving.

And I'm loving every minute of it eventhough I know it will probably be gone when we least expect it. But we're both expecting it every day.

I don't know if it's love. It probably isn't. But let's temporarily say it is called "love". Then it is love without the drama (which is a very temporary thing).

Let's call it... "A Love Between Two Cowards".

Elephant shoe, Richie. haha.

Good NOOSE!!!

2005-04-12T21:03:00.000+08:00

Well whaddayaknow! I passed Drafting after all! I know I don't deserve it but damn am I a lucky girl or what! hehe

Too Fast Too Furious

2005-04-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

Well, we've been hanging around for like 72 hours now. If he keeps this up, things are gonna grow old real fast. Oh well, whatever. If you ask me if i like him I'd probably say yes. But if you ask me if I'll still like him next week or the week after that and the week after that... well, it's too soon to tell.

I'm probably going to fail Drafting. So sad. I deserve it anyway. Just couldn't bring myself to work on it properly.

hehe.

2005-04-07T01:03:00.000+08:00

I hate drafting.... pffft... but on the lighter side of things...

Me is feeling very very happy today, awkward but happy. hehehe. Richie.

Family Weekend

2005-04-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

I had breakfast at 2 pm and our pad is still in chaos. I went to bed 2 am last night after taking video clips of my brothers after a few shots of Bacardi151 (the strongest legal alcohol drink in the world as I've been told). Speaking of yesterday, yesterday was fun. Andoni called it our family day. hehe. My big brothers (AC, Andoni and Lawrence), Luisa and I went on a road trip to Alabang using Lawrence's car. Luisa volunteered to drive us there since she was the real reason why we went to Alabang in the first place. She met up with her classmate and then we headed off to Alabang Town Centre and had dinner at (I forgot the name of the restaurant. hehe.).

I bought new summer slippers at Artwork. Ah just the way I like it -- simple, orange, and an inch high at least. The heels on this pair is 1.5 inches thick I think. Artwork is my shop for all seasons. Loves it.

AC drove us back home and him and Andoni had a short work out session while Lawrence and I hung out at my room. But when the clock struck 12mn sharp, their good old friend, Bacardi decided to join the party! Or should I stay, start it. I was the camerawoman of the entire festivity until I decided to hit the sack.

The next day(today), I woke up to find Luisa and the tres amigos extending their fun. But it didn't last very long... Or maybe I just woke up in time for the party to end.

Anyway, I'd like to end this entry with a few introductions...

Over here we have Lawrence, maybe he doesn't look it but he's actually the sweetest among the three.

Ahh and the ever shirtless and ever loud Andoni.

That's my brother AC on the right. Nagyayabang as usual. hehehe!

And last but not the least, the sexy Luisa. hehe! May bayad daw yang pose niya! Hehe.

This Is A First

2005-04-01T21:20:00.002+08:00

I finally lost it today. But somehow, it helped me keep things together.

Thank you for understanding when I no longer can.
Nashy, Macky, Ate Aeyc and Robbie. I love shoe. :) hehe.
Lawrence (my big brother in 1804), I'm proud of you too sweetie. Mwah.

"I don't care if monday's blue. tuesday's grey and wednesday too. thursday I don't care about you. it's friday I'm in love!" -- The Cure - Friday I'm In Love

kaleidoSCOOP of the Day

2005-03-31T18:49:00.000+08:00

Hair yoga.
Solo una volta.
Debut flashbacks.
Tuna sandwiches.
Iced tea.
Unexpected thoughtfulness.
*thud*.
Ani difranco.
Remedies for ass deflation.
Comedy sitcom scenarios.
Dorm roomie what-ifs.
Embracing thank you's.
Beso-besos.
Pablo neruda.
Insignia of pablo neruda tattooed on paula's back.
Student-teacher infatuation.
Paula.
Gender [in]sensitivity.
Bitches.
Whores.
Witches.
Bores.
Kindhearted fat ladies.
1810.

Nash. Robbie. Meggy. Lawrence. Andoni. Stranger.

Confession

2005-03-31T08:53:00.000+08:00

May aaminin ako sa inyong lahat...
.
..
.
..
.
ako...
.
..
.
..
.
si darna.
...
..
.
nyehehehe.

And these are my archenemies. They may look friendly but they are actually spawns of satan.

*Mura*! Papatayin ko kayong lahat! Nakakatakot kayo!

Pagpasensyahan niyo na ako mga kaibigan. I ~~don't~~ feel like myself today.

Summer Getaway

2005-03-30T22:01:00.000+08:00

The above images are my excuse for not doing any of my projects in Drafting and Economics, and also for not doing my homework in Literature. She did it again (slacked off). Disappointed? Not really.

Again, please let me remind you that you are not allowed to take pictures from my site. If you do, you better start praying coz I know where you live!!! Although saying this might be useless because there's a small chance of me finding out, I still just wanted to say it anyway. Gotta learn how to do that right-click disabling. If I'm lucky enough to have visitors on my 3 day old site, can anyone recommend or suggest a site that can teach me how to disable my right-click function?

Okay about the images, which one do you think is better, the top or bottom? Just click on them if you wish to see a bigger version. Got the image from Getty images by the way. Here's the original picture:

I don't want to go on a getaway though. Instead, I just want to meet a getaway, my getaway.

*Sighs* *Long silence*.....Oh, Frustration, so nice of you to drop by.

Feeling "Sensual"

2005-03-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

I want to try to make sense from now on. Or at least, produce some sense out of my nonsense.

And so it is written. So it shall be done (probably not soon, but it will happen).

Bored Enough to be Back

2005-03-29T18:43:00.000+08:00

New blog. Wow. I never knew I'd be bored enough to put up a new one. I deleted my old blog months ago now here I am with a new one. I doubt I'd be updating this since summer's just around the corner. Anyway, here are summarized briefings of memorable things that have happened lately:

* I've finally learned to get along with my brother and his friends (now our friends) without the awkwardness caused by my introversion. I'll be posting some pics of us as soon as I can figure out this blogger photo uploader software. I have a multiply account but they require a more updated version of a certain software.

* I just started crash dieting a month ago. I know it's bad and I know its bad side effects but I always prefer the faster way out even if it's not good for me. So yeah, I got into crash dieting and soon found myself fainting while in church listening to the mass... but then I also found myself finally able to slip back into my old pants. To skip meals or not to skip meals? (stares ponderingly at 5 new old pairs of pants)... Bahh! Skipping meals it is!

* I have been visiting to the chapel and have been praying a lot lately. Don't need a reason why so don't ask.

* Finals and deadlines week this week and I've been having a lot of nagging sessions from Robbie and Ate Aeyc. They don't think I can getaway with finishing these two projects for the finals (illustration and drafting) in just a week when we were given 3 weeks or more to work on it. I'm starting to think I won't get away with it like I always do, either. We'll see. But if I do fail something, I'll never hear the end of it. But if I do prevail once again, Robbie's gonna be real pissed. hehehe

* I am finally practicing my rights and privileges as a single lady, if you know what I mean. hehe.