Reality Check
Finally, no more midterms. I kinda felt the pressure on this one. Yeah, Multimedia Arts is starting to weigh down on me. I just looked through my flowchart and I realized the subjects I will be taking in the succeeding terms might require more of my efforts than what I usually give now. That means less slacking off, or better yet, no slacking off at all. But you all know I can't do that. If I just try to prioritize my obligations and responsibilities then I could surely graduate on time. According to my calculations, I might even graduate ahead too, that is if I play it straight. In the succeeding terms, especially junior year, the pressure is definitely on. I don't like pressure. It keeps me pinned down on the ground. I know it's where I should be but I don't like the ground very much. It's too human.
Yesterday, I watched Richie do more of his beatbox stuff. And I realized how serious he was about it. He texts people he knows who beatboxes as well and would ask them if they wanna jam or something. I know this is something you guys would predictably make fun of but the thing is, he does so much to reach his goal. He often gets frustrated everytime he watches the pros do it and he tries so hard to catch on. I kinda got goosebumps seeing a person who does a lot to reach a certain goal. Then I recalled how Robbie's serious about what he does as well. All that drawing and graphic designing and all that effort he does in school. Then my thoughts jumped on to Emman. This guy started pretty young. He's a production design student and started earning at the age of 17. He's the one who took the pictures in Kitchie Nadal's album. My thoughts spread on to everyone else. And as I can see, everyone seems to have a passion for something and aims for it. Everyone except me.
How sad is that that I prefer to dabble on something I can be interested in. No, not prefer. More of because that's as far as I can go. I don't go all the way even if friends give me the big mmph. Perhaps because I'm afraid that I might just end up in total disappointment. Perhaps because of the competition that goes along with it and I have this habit of giving up easily when I see that someone's better. I don't understand that I'm usually optimistic most of the time but why stay pessimistic when it comes to this.
I hate this whole growing up business.
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A conversation I had with Richie at Cash&Carry. Was telling him the usual stupid things I did when I was a kid. This time when I was 8 years olds. He responds:
"What does 8 mean?" (Draws an imaginary 8 with his fingers.)
"Err... Infinity?" I replied.
"Yes, and that's what you will be."
"What?"
"You will be 8 forever."
posted by Sentimental Garbage @ 12:51 PM
